How to join Rotten Tomatoes Zero Per Cent Club

    was briefly awarded 0% on the review aggregating site. What does it take to earn membership of this most exclusive band?

    For a glorious spell last weekend, The Emoji Movie a that has been called venal, insidious e the end of the world achieved the almost impossible and gained entry to the Zero Per Cent Club. Em outras palavras, it failed to receive a single positive notice from a professional critic on Rotten Tomatoes. Not a scrap, not a jot, not even the barest pity point. It was, in a word, irredeemable.

    This is no longer the case, thanks to a lukewarm review by El Nuevo Dia. But for a while it was part of the most exclusive club in Hollywood. The Zero Per Cent Club includes triumphs such as Run for Your Wife, 10 Rules for Sleeping Around and Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back. It takes work to be in this club. Making a film that is merely bad wont cut it. To be in the Zero Per Cent Club, you need to be genuinely incompetent.

    assim, what steps do you need to take to earn membership? Having looked at the worst of the worst, here are some notes.

    Be a sequel

    Sea sickPatrick Culliton and Telly Savalas in Beyond the Poseidon Adventure. Fotografia: Allstar/Warner Bros

    Here is the bad news. If you want to make a comprehensively awful film, it helps to follow a better one: many of the Zero Per Cent Clubs members are sequels. assim, if you want to make a cack-handed follow-up to an Oscar-winning movie, look to The Sting II, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure e Jaws: The Revenge for inspiration.

    If your only idea involves sending a beloved character to an unfamiliar setting, there is Billy Jack Goes to Washington e The Bad News Bears Go to Japan. If you are making a sequel only because you had a jazzy idea for a subtitle, the Zero Per Cent Club includes Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil, Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain e, claro, Highlander 2: The Quickening.

    Go genre

    Ropey at bestChildren of the Corn 666: Isaacs Return. Fotografia: Allstar/Dimension Films

    There is no point trying to reinvent the wheel if you want to be part of the Zero Per Cent Club. What if you succeed only partly and end up impressing someone? It is better to make a boilerplate genre piece and make it badly. That is what the makers of Orgy of the Dead fez. And the makers of The Brotherhood of Satan. E Empire of the Ants. E Children of the Corn 666: Isaacs Return. They all picked a mainstream genre that critics are sniffy about, so that was half the battle won. In the case of Empire of the Ants, the other half of the battle was won by just filming some ants.

    Revive a loathed movie series

    Firing blanksPolice Academy 7: Mission to Moscow Photograph: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock

    Despite its wide variety, the Zero Per Cent Club is dominated by two film series. Police Academy 4, 5, 6 e 7 all succeeded in appalling every critic in the world, but even this lousiness has been topped by National Lampoon, which counts Movie Madness, Senior Trip, Gold Diggers, Dorm Daze, Pledge This! and Transylmania as Zero Per Cent Club members. While there hasnt been a new Police Academy film for nearly a quarter of a century, National Lampoon was still churning out movies in the middle of this decade, so its run may continue. Anyway, who owns the rights to Look Whos Talking? Are they selling? If not, I am sure Michael Winners estate will be willing to sell the Death Wish franchise for cheap.

    Make a kids film

    Barking up the wrong treePudsey the Dog: The Movie. Fotografia: Allstar/Vertigo Films

    This was The Emoji Movies tactic. If you can make something truly cynical for children, under the false impression that kids are stupid and they will lap up anything, you are well on your way to a seat at the Zero Per Cent table. This is what Mac and Me fez, by retelling ET from a viewpoint of overt, relentless McDonalds product placement. It is what Pudsey the Dog: The Movie fez, by spinning a hopeless plot out of a dog whose only achievement was keeping his nose quite close to a womans bum. It is what Roberto Benignis Pinocchio fez, by being the creepiest thing anyone has committed to film.

    And if all else fails?

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