A Breakdown Of The Baby Prostitutes On This Season Of ‘Are You The One’ Betches

    Just a couple of brief weeks ago I had nearly lost hope that Are You The One? would ever go back to my TELEVISION screen. Where would I get my weekly repair of intoxicated individuals destroying their lives and future joy for my satisfaction? Luckily, People.com stroked in like the heroes they are with a brand-new cast statement . Sure, I needed to sort through all the stories of killed ladies and exclusives on Amanda Stanton’ s newest cosmetic treatment, however I discovered it! And kid, if you people believed they discovered last season’ s cast in a dumpster in Tampa, simply you wait till you see this year’s crop of child woman of the streets. Thankfully, I’ m here to break down the cast of Are You The One: Season of Fate for all you. Take pleasure in!

    Andrew Couture , 24

    MTV explains Andrew as a “ epic Boston brother, ” therefore I currently wish to burn his home down and eliminate everybody he enjoys. They go on to state that isn’ t who he truly is, he simply plays up the bad young boy angle since that’ s who females desire him to be. Yes, Andrew, we like to be dealt with like garbage. You’ re! I ’ ve got 100 dollars $ 7.50 and a half empty pack of gum that states he’ s the douchiest person on this program.

    Google

    Asia Woodley , 22

    Asia is devoted to her imagine being an “ on-air broadcaster. ” Congrats, Asia! You made it! Using underwear on cam and dry-humping a man on the dance flooring is kind of like being a TELEVISION anchor?

    Asia

    Brett Ferri , 26

    Literally I believed this man was Davy Crockett using a coonskin cap. That is excessive hair to give whatever semi-tropical location MTV might manage this year.

    Kayla Umagat

    Bria Hamilton , 21

    Bria is referred to as an “ overachiever on her dispute group ” which you understand simply impliesshe ’ s the lady that hears somebody state her name and instantly screams in their face that she’ ll “ end them. ” Expect some limiting orders for her when the season’ s over.

    Kenya

    Cam Viney , 24

    MTV explains Cam as a “ black republican and Trump advocate. ” So essentially Cam is a robotic developed in a laboratory by intoxicated MTV researchers created to develop mass dispute and carnage. Somebody has to discover his kill switch early in the season if the cast anticipates to endure.

    Kwasi Opoku

    Cali Trepp , 24

    Cali uses her “ heart on her sleeve, ” and a lot of absolutely nothing else, if her Instagram account is any indicator.

    Lewis Belt

    Daniel Vilk, 22

    Daniel’ s cast bio has absolutely nothing however good things to state about him. He’ s referred to as hot-tempered, envious, unfaithful, and has a partying way of life. Well f * ck me up today, I’ m in.

    Moe Elkhalil

    Hello there Daniel, wear ’ t destroy my life.

    Jasmine Rodriguez , 21

    Jasmine bartends at the Jersey Shore throughout the summertime, and all of us understand exactly what that indicates– she has an STD. Wear ’ t concern, I ’ m sure it ’ s treatable. She likewise explains herself on Instagram as “ Philly ’ s Phinnest Miss September. ” Those words actually imply absolutely nothing together. Google and I believe it’ s a spelling mistake and she suggested “ Phinest ” so Jas if you ’ re reading this, can you repair that as well as sorry I stated you had an STD.

    Queen

    Kwasi Opoku , 24

    I had high expect Kwasi when I saw his abs and his degrees in biology and public health. That rapidly went downhill when I discovered Kwasi refers to himself as “ Kwasi Beast. ” LADIES, WE DESERVE BETTER. Ladies are at a tipping point here, and I swear to God something like Kwasi Beast is going to send us over the edge. It ’ s time to revolt.

    Scott

    Kayla Umagat , 22

    Kayla’ s bio was taken from a design template entitled “ issues females have with relationships. ” She ’ s been harmed by love, she doesn ’ t trust anybody, yada, yada, yada. Kayla will be this season’ s most fundamental b * tch who everybody enjoys although she is dull af.

    Shamoy Persad

    Lewis Belt , 23

    Lewis is a comic, so we currently understand he’ s about to be friend-zoned by every among these women. By the end of the season his finest gal friend will let him snuggle in bed with her and gently graze her boobs, however NO FURTHER. She will likewise state “ you should have somebody a lot better than me. ”

    Google

    Kenya Scott , 22

    Kenya was raised by blind moms and dads, which is a true blessing for them, since now they put on ’ t need to see all her swimsuit selfies and just need to pay attention to her destroy her life one drunken connection at a time.

    instagram

    Moe Elkhalil , 22

    Okay, these MTV bios make everybody seem like they’ re struggling with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Moe is “ committed to returning ” and “ leads with heat ” however Moe can develop into a “ overall jerk. ” His relationship success depends upon “ which Moe remains in control. ” I have a concept, let’ s recommend everybody antipsychotics then possibly they’d be much better at relationships.

    Kayla Umagat

    Which Moe are you, tho?

    Lauren Roush , 23

    Lauren is this season’ s required pageant queen. I’ m calling it today: Lauren won’ t discover love with any male this season. In a stunning twist, Lauren and Kenya discover love together, and are the program’ s initially same-sex couple. They will use it with pride.

    Kenya

    Shamoy Persad , 23

    Shamoy is from the United States Virgin Islands and is wishing to release an effective clothes line. Based upon the clothing I’ m seeing him endure his Instagram (@shamoyy), I’d state that ’ s about as most likely to occur as the MTA ever getting me anywhere on time and without an unidentifiable stain on my body.

    Kwasi Opoku

    Sure, I’d trust this male to dress me.

    Maria Elizondo , 21

    Maria is the 3rd individual up until now from New Jersey, so perhaps that’ s where they discovered their dumpster loaded with cast members this year. And I state that with love, it’ s where my mama discovered me.

    Lewis Belt

    Tevin Grant , 22

    Oh hi Tevin, that sure is a smoldering appearance you’ re offering me. Which’ s how I understand he ’ s ready to f * ck every lady over. He likewise has a tattoo on his chest that states “ Family First ” which you understand methods he ’ s simply going to cheat on you with your hotter sibling.

    Moe Elkhalil

    Morgan Fletcher , 21

    Apparently Morgan requires and has no filter to be in control of all elements of her life. Well Morgan, that sounds a lot like me, and I invest my nights alone seeing Bravo and purchasing pizza from various dining establishments so the routine shipment male doesn’ t begin to acknowledge me. Finest of luck to you on your journey to discover love! I hope you’ re not lactose intolerant!

    Queen

    Tomas Buenos , 22

    Tomas relocated to the United States from Argentina at age 11, and inning accordance with MTV, has actually been “ lovely the trousers off ladies since. ” Mmmmk. I hope among these ladies cleans that laugh straight off his pants-charming face. Ideally with their fist.

    Scott

    Nutsa Sikharulidze, 21

    Her name is Nutsa, and I’ m not going to tease it since possibly it’ s a standard Georgian name and I put on’ t wish to be insensitive however MY GOD MTV why are you putting a female called Nutsa on a program with males that have the psychological maturity of my left pinky? “ Wan na see my Nutsa ” are 100 % going to be the very first words from Andrew Couture’ s mouth.

    Shamoy Persad

    Zak Jones, 21

    Well Zak looks cute, however he’ s the just one whose Instagram isn’ t working so I can just presume he took it down since he is a founded guilty sex transgressor or just recently liked some racially insensitive posts. Am I right, ABC? MTV likewise explains him as a “ supervillian, ” and like, do we actually have to drag The Joker into this? This person is simply a tool with a below-average IQ, I question he has the brain capability to be deliberately dubious.

    Google

    Samantha McKinnon , 22

    Samantha is using a T-shirt that states “ Babe ” in her cast picture, so a minimum of we understand she has self-confidence. She’ s likewise referred to as “ enthusiastic ” which indicates she ’ ll certainly parlay this program into a flat belly tea sponsorship when it’ s over. It ’ s essential to dream huge.

    instagram

    And that’ s everybody! You can capture these popularity sluts destroying their lives starting Wednesday, August 8th at 10/9 main on MTV.

    Images: MTV

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